Description
Argent
I awoke to rain. Then the sun’s coin slid through a hole in the clouds’ pocket-and out rayed the dazzle, more and more, fistfuls and fistfuls of money I took as the leaves take the light. When I came to Paris, this much was urgent: earn your living or starve. All the boys in my village wanted to bed me, so-let my body be my bread, as Jesus’ body, baked, breaks to be food of our Communion. What union? Baskets of onions and shallots in the street markets. Chanterelles and mousserons. Saucissons dangling from strings-to look at them-almost obscene, one after another, plumped with pork and salt. I close my eyes when I spread my legs and imagine an old butter churn. The handle thrusting down, but below it: myself a cream thickening, smooth as the sight of a seamless cloudbank, cool and blank. There’s a place the soul goes when the body is a field lost to burning. A field of chamomile. Thousands of tiny suns blazing back the one sun’s gaze. Scent of honey and hay. Each plush gold pillow a nub to rub. To have become a common whore. Qu’est-ce que j’adore, l’éclat de l’or ou le ternissement de l’argent? Which am I, shine or tarnish? Summer simmering in an autumn pot, these flowers I take as tea early mornings, because at night I can’t sleep-and because I can’t sleep-